According to reports, Liverpool plan to interview a dozen different candidates for the manager's job to ensure every viable contender is considered.
Insiders tell me the American owners are actually closer to making an appointment than many believe but have been busy deciding precisely which scientific method they will use to whittle those 12 names down to that all important one. A tombola or a dartboard?
What on earth is happening at Liverpool? Having sacked pretty much everyone in a position of authority over the past couple of weeks barring their beleaguered chief executive, the club appear to have resorted to drawing random names out of a revolving drum and then cold calling them to see if they fancy moving to Merseyside
In no particular order, the 12 names currently being considered for the Liverpool manager's position are - Pep Guardiola, Jimmy Corkhill from Brookside, Alan Pardew, the Anfield Cat, Roberto Martinez, Derek Acorah, Fabio Capello, Rick Astley, Andre Villas-Boas, club PA announcer George Sefton, Didier Deschamps and Ken Dodd.
Veteran Dodd emerged as a surprise second favourite behind Martinez because, as one correspondent pointed out, it means the club won't have to replace the initials on Dalglish's old tracksuit.
The truth is almost as ridiculous. The official Liverpool Twitter account - yes, the club's official feed - asked its million or so followers to nominate Kenny Dalglish's successor. This came three-and-a-half hours after stories announced the club had hired a new director of communications.
Naturally, having been bombarded with all sorts of inventive nominations, someone at Anfield then tried to backtrack, saying: 'The context of our last tweet seems to have been misunderstood.' And it was really a 'fun feature'.
Unfortunately, everyone is having fun at Liverpool's expense right now. More so because this naïve episode fitted in with the general perception that, ever since the Luis Suarez T-shirt debacle, Liverpool are lacking in leadership and groping in the dark for solutions.
Of course, this job lottery scenario could all be a great diversion designed to distract us from the real managerial target. It might be like the night comedian Dodd went to watch a topless female ventriloquist perform and 'nobody ever saw her lips move'.
But it is more likely that Liverpool have no idea who they want as their new boss. This means if you've been mentioned over the last 12 months in anything approaching a vaguely complimentary fashion (that rules out Acorah) you have a chance of being called to an interview.
Swansea's Brendan Rodgers wisely took himself off the wishlist, declining the official approach with gracious words about unfinished business at his present club. The Northern Irishman is smart enough to know there will be other attractive opportunities ahead, where the fact he is 'Not Dalglish' won't be held against him either.
Equally, Borussia Dortmund's Jurgen Klopp, winner of back-to-back Bundesliga titles, rebuffed a Liverpool approach, cruelly depriving national newspapers of their pre-prepared 'Klopp of the Kop' headlines in the process.
Naturally, Guardiola was the top target. He is everybody's top target and that's the trouble. My local pub has a vacancy for a bar manager and Pep is their ideal choice too if he'll take it. And they have about as much chance as Liverpool of luring the former Barcelona boss out of his year-long sabbatical.
Does anyone seriously think he would step down from the 'stress' of coaching a team including Messi, Xavi and Iniesta, widely considered to be the best in the world, to swap tactical chit chat with Jordan Henderson and Stewart Downing on how they can knock it long to Andy Carroll?
Besides, how does Guardiola even appear on a 'shortlist'? If someone at Anfield genuinely believes he can be persuaded to betray that declaration to Barca that he was 'exhausted' and needed a year off, then you just go and get him. You do not scribble the name Guardiola alongside a boss who has just avoided relegation.
One wonders why the Americans would expose their naivety like this. When John W Henry and Co arrived the fact that they lacked any knowledge of the game was ignored because anything was better than Tom Hicks and George Gillett.
Their appointment of Dalglish was always a compromise and the Scot's crabby plea that judging Liverpool by league position alone was 'disrespectful' was the beginning of the end. As I pointed out at the time, his employers were precisely the sort to use that measure.
Henry doesn't deal in sentiment. His commodity trading business boasts of making decisions that 'lock out human emotions'. And so it proved when he closed the door on Dalglish.
But what do Liverpool have to offer someone like Guardiola? A side that finished eighth, level on points with Fulham, and behind a very skint Everton. Before that, they were seventh and sixth. They have won a Carling Cup, beating a Championship side on penalties, their only trophy in six years. Their future is uncertain, since no plan has been announced on the future of the stadium.
But they have so much to offer if the right man can rebuild them. For Wigan manager Martinez that all amounts to a step up and a great challenge. For Guardiola, it is a reason to soak up the sun and wait for United, or Chelsea or anyone else who comes calling next year.
But 11 other candidates remain. Luckily, Liverpool have agreed to allow Fox Sports to film a behind-the-scenes documentary at the club and maybe that's the plan? Maybe they'll stage the ultimate football reality show, where one candidate is voted out every week. They can call it Kop Idol.
And after a dog won Britain's Got Talent, what price is the Anfield Cat?
发表于 19-5-2012 01:04 AM
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