同性恋是业障吗？

不是个好男人

这是我的问题：
小时候因为学习的环境和没有父亲的陪同下，所以大概三年前自己开始对同性有了好感，最近还在梦里跟同性XX而晚上梦遗。小弟父亲现在还健在，只是小时候因逃避债务而住在别处，现在虽然回来跟我同住，不过因为债务问题和妈妈在我面前大吵了很多次，所以小弟N年前已经对婚姻没有了兴趣。

上了高中，父母分房睡至今，而我考进了一间男校，当时面对着全校男生的我还对异性有兴趣，不过考上学院和大学时，又再次面对同班比较多的男生。打扮时尚又帅的男同学令我变得更加腼腆和害臊，所以至今不敢交女友，因为生怕会伤了女孩的心。

不久接触了我人生里的第一章佛经：太阳星君和太阴星君金经。过后更念起了高王观世音真经，因为总觉得是自己前世作了太多的罪孽，所以今世才受苦受罪。可是念了不到一个月就不念了，因为没有办法专心，现在改为听佛经，小弟最喜欢齐豫唱的佛经。不过听了那么多还是觉得无法除去业障，所以决定毕业后先除业障再来修佛学。我想问我能借用佛力来解除心里的业障吗，还是我应该看心理医生？如果是，那我要如何才可以成功？

之前看过一个人的文章，据说他是藉靠佛力来让自己走回正途，当然他和我一样，不是天生的同性恋。他说之前还没成为同性恋者是因为业障还没发芽，是真的吗？所以我是有药可救的？

刚刚在某网站听了一首佛经，我终于不由自主地流下泪来，三年前开始怀疑自己是同性恋时，那时候的我时不时都躲起来哭，可是久了我就开始纵容自己，看了同性的色情网站也不言悔还变成无法自拔，过后已经哭不起来，因为自己都好像承认了自己是同性恋者。
不过那首歌好像唤起了我该是时候忏悔了，所以今天小弟拿起了勇气向各位讨教和帮忙。

问题2：为什么我们今世要受前世所做过罪孽的果报，基本上我更本都不记得我所犯何事。我时常这样对菩萨说，请问会不好吗？
P/S: 根据上文，小弟并没有取笑和针对任何一位来自不同宗教的同性恋者，希望大家别借题发挥。

沧浪澈

若问前世因
现在受者是
若问来生果
如今做者是

过去前尘往事，因为太执著那种形态样貌、感受、想法、行为、意识而带到现在来纠缠着你。
未来的命运安排，就开始于你每一刻当下的言行思维。

炫银河

没法的，只能怪命运如此安排。

同性恋不是罪，只是你得在这排斥同性恋的社会里挣扎求存。

山野草夫

针对第一个问题，楼主现在好像是面对性倾向方面的困扰，个人认为楼主应该寻求辅导员的协助会比较好。

至于什么前世罪孽，今生果报，这类型问题实在是很复杂，非常人所能理解。过去的已经过去，还是好好把握现在吧。

沧浪澈

有办法的，命运不是不可以改变的。

2·心是诸（名）法的前导者，心是主，诸（名）法唯心造。若人以清净之心言行，快乐将跟随着他，如影随形。（注：名法是指五蕴中的受、想、行与识，心则是指识。）
7·住于欲乐中的人，放纵六根（感官），食不知足，怠惰与不事精进，他肯定被魔王制伏，如强风吹倒弱树一般。
13·雨可以渗透屋顶粗陋的房子，欲念亦可渗透尚未受到培育的心。
21·不放逸是不死道，放逸是死路；不放逸者不死，放逸者有如早已死去。
33·心是飘浮不定的，难以控制，难以防护。智者训练其心，使它正直，如矢师矫正箭一般。
47·采（欲乐之）花的人，心执着于欲乐，他被死亡带走，如酣睡之村被洪水冲走。
48·采（欲乐之）花的人，心执着于欲乐，他无法满足己欲，只有被死魔征服。
80·治水者疏导水，矢师矫正箭，木匠修饰木，智者制伏自己。
103·即使人们在战场上战胜千人千次，然而，能战胜自己的人，才是真正的至上胜利者。
104·战胜自己的确远胜于战胜他人。

摘自《法句经》
http://www.chinese-sutra.url.tw/gbfjj.htm
希望帮助到需要帮助的人。合十！

乌班老毒物

原帖由 不是个好男人 于 1-3-2009 04:16 PM 发表
这是我的问题：
小时候因为学习的环境和没有父亲的陪同下，所以大概三年前自己开始对同性有了好感，最近还在梦里跟同性XX而晚上梦遗。小弟父亲现在还健在，只是小时候因逃避债务而住在别处，现在虽然回来跟我同住， ...

爱一个人不是罪，如果一个男人是异性恋的，没有正常的爱情，在外面搞三搞四，一脚踏几船，就是邪淫，那是佛教不鼓励的。

如果一个人天生就是同性恋，有自己所爱的人，那有罪吗？ 答案是没有。

佛陀在世时，就有知道有同性恋的存在。他没反对或鼓励同性恋，他很了解这是人的缺点，这是人类本来有的欲望。

佛陀教导佛法，就是希望人类可以脱离贪嗔痴这三毒。不论异性恋或同性恋，都算是贪，嗔，痴。但佛陀也没叫他的全部信徒一定要脱离异性恋或同性恋，出家做和尚去，因为佛陀不是走极端路线。

我们要把我们自己当成普通人看待，如果把自己当成圣人，只会自讨苦吃，学佛反而引起更多烦恼，那么学佛是没有意义的。

做为在家人，就要有在家人的生活习惯，守五戒，爱护家人，照顾家庭，这是我们的职责，责任。佛陀讲的善生经就有讲到。

我们要从基本上学习如何懂得去爱，爱一切众生，爱一切事物，从最简单的做起。就算是有了家庭，要爱你的妻子孩子，不可能跑去寺院说要做和尚，断六根，过清心寡欲的生活，那根本就是违反了佛教的理念，不责任的行为。这是连爱都不懂的，就要学人家去做伟大的圣人。

你知道为什么有些人会走火入魔吗？那是因为长期压抑自己的情绪，久而久之累积成病。等到有一天全部爆发出来，一发就不可收拾，那是很可怕的。

总而言之，不论是异性恋或同性恋，你要好好照顾自己，不要乱乱来就可以了。

如果你要断绝情欲，那是很漫长的路要走。多点研究其它宗教的教导，不论是藏传的，北传的或南传的。学佛不是学习故步自封，就算是基督教的或回教的，都要多多去探讨，尝试接受人家，这是一门学问。有些人学佛了，就以为自己学的佛法是高人一等，把人家的宗教教育看成一无是处，老实和你说，那不是学佛，那是学习如何排挤人家。 学佛是学习如何包容，这是很重要的。有一天，你可能会发现到，菩萨不只会出现在佛教里，在基督教和回教都会发觉到他们的存在。

[ 本帖最后由 乌班老毒物 于 1-3-2009 05:16 PM 编辑 ]

书剑

佛教没有判同性恋死刑。
你对你这样的生活不开心？担忧？害怕被排侧？

其实最直接方法是寻求心理医生治疗，然后再以佛法为补助，增强意志。克制五蕴所引起的颠倒梦想。

还有要孝顺你的父母，尽量寻找方法化解他们的矛盾，开解他们。可能从中得到开解，化解你的疑云和矛盾。我也相信你的阴影来自这里。

[ 本帖最后由 书剑 于 1-3-2009 05:25 PM 编辑 ]

12341234

对得起自己，对得起别人，自然无碍。

笑吼

原帖由 不是个好男人 于 1-3-2009 04:16 PM 发表
这是我的问题：
小时候因为学习的环境和没有父亲的陪同下，所以大概三年前自己开始对同性有了好感，最近还在梦里跟同性XX而晚上梦遗。小弟父亲现在还健在，只是小时候因逃避债务而住在别处，现在虽然回来跟我同住， ...

我也是男校出生的，除了小学以外，我中学和college都是男校，可说是『先进少林，后入武当』啊！但小弟是百分之百的男人！

你肯坦然面对你自己的问题已经很了不起了！小弟对这方面的了解不深，不能给你任何意见。但既然肯坦然面对你的问题，那证明了你有决心想要改变你自己，相信你自己，只要你有决心，世上没什么事难倒你的。你可以找一些辅导员，他们肯定能帮得到你！

[ 本帖最后由 笑吼 于 1-3-2009 08:08 PM 编辑 ]

S.H.M.

我看过一片文章,来自一个blog (Venerable Dhammika)，一个来自新加坡的故事。。

一个同性恋倾向的人，问了新加坡的一位南传师父，同性恋的一些问题.. 过后他又问了台湾一位师父同样的问题. 过后,有一天他打电话跟新加坡的南传师父说,哈哈,你错了,台湾的师父说应该是这样的. 南传的师父没有说些什么,并再次强调自己的论点.

电话盖上了, 南传师父有一天看到了报纸的一个报道,照片里的人很熟悉, 原来他自杀死了，死在停车场里，...

这是我看过佛教界,最悲惨,最惹我痛心的一件事... 希望你好好的认识佛教, 认识正法, 了解什么才是真正的佛教............

S.H.M.

我是在以下的blog 看到的。。。

http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/search?q=homo
Sunday, May 25, 2008
A Gay Tragedy (一个同性恋人的悲剧）
Occasionally someone, usually a young man but sometimes a young women or an older man or women, will approach me and after a few minuets of hesitation or beating around the bush, ask me what the Buddhist position on homosexuality is. When they do I tell then that intentional actions (kamma) modify consciousness and that our kamma conditions our future. Positive intentional acts have positive effects (vipaka) and negative intentional acts have a negative effect. Sexual acts motivated by the usual intentions, feelings and emotions which exist between two people who love each other, would have a positive effect and would not infringe the third Precept, whether they be homosexual or heterosexual. I underline this point by saying that Buddhist ethics about sex are primarily concerned with the motives behind out sexual behavior, rather than the gender of our partner. This being so, if two people of the same gender express their love for each other physically there is no good reason why the kamma this creates should be any different from when two people of the opposite gender do the same. Having said this I then try to change the subject, not because I am embarrassed talking about homosexuality, but because I do not like the ‘single issue’ approach to Dhamma. However, a few years ago I had an encounter which made me realize that inquiries about homosexuality, whether from gays themselves or their families, should be given my whole attention. However theoretical or marginal this issue may be to me it is likely to be of considerable import to the people who ask such questions.
A young man named Julian rung me asking if he could come and talk to me about Buddhism. I said he could and on the appointed day and time he came. Julian turned out to be about 20 old, of slight build and with pleasant features. He was well groomed and neatly dressed. He started by asking me a few questions about some aspects of Buddhism but I sensed that these were not really what he was interested in. Finally the question came, “Venerable, can a gay person be a good Buddhist?” I gave my usual reply but it soon became clear that this did not please him. He kept interjecting and expressing doubts about what I said. I answered all his objections but he remained unconvinced. Arriving at a deadlock and not knowing what more I could say I asked him if he was gay. He blushed, cleared his throat and said that he was. Then he told me his story. Since his early teens he noticed that he was attracted to other boys and had a particular interest in woman’s clothes. Horrified by these feelings he kept them well under control. A year ago while doing his national service he had met another soldier who was gay and since that time they had been having a relationship, although a guilt-filled and fugitive one. Once or twice a month they would pool their recourses and book a hotel for the night. He would dress in woman’s clothes, put on makeup and they would spend the night together. For Julian at least, this would be followed by days of self-loathing and resolutions never to do it again. After he had finished telling me this he hung his head and said, “This must be wrong.” “Well,” I said, “some people would find it a bit strange. But from a Buddhist perspective I really can’t see that it is particularly harmful. Satisfying sexual urges is a perfectly natural thing to do and it is acceptable where it does not involve adultery or harming others. The conflict you create within yourself by hating what are completely harmless feelings hurts you much more than being gay ever could. There is no reason why you can’t practice the Precepts – respecting the life, the prosperity and the sexual feelings of others, their right to know the truth and keeping your mind free from intoxicants – while being gay.” He was silent but I could see that I had not been able to still his doubts. Julian visited me two more time over the next two month and our conversations were about the Dhamma in general although we also went over the same territory concerning homosexuality with very much the same results.

S.H.M.

Then, after not having seen or heard from Julian for nearly six month I got a call from him. He told me that a famous Taiwanese monk was in town giving a series of talks and that he had managed to get a few minuets with him. He had asked the monk the same question he had asked me and the monk had told him that homosexuality was a filthy, evil thing and that homosexuals get reborn in the lowest hell where they are boiled in excrement for eons. Julian said this with in an almost triumphant tone, seemingly glad that he had proved me wrong or that he had found someone who agreed with him. I asked him what else this venerable monk had said. “Nothing,” he replied. “He was going somewhere and only had a few minuets to talk.”
How often has this happened to me? I have told an inquirer something about Buddhism which I know to be sound, sensible and in accordance with the Tipitaka, they go to another monk who tells them the exact opposite and then they come back to me asking me to explain the anomaly. Then I am stuck with the problem of either saying that the other monk doesn’t know what he is talking about (which is often the case) and appearing to be an arrogant upstart, or biting my lip, saying nothing and letting the person go away with yet another half-baked notion or superstition thinking that it is Dhamma. How often? Very often! In most cases this is just frustrating. In this case it had tragic consequences.
“Look Julian” I said, “You asked me what Buddhism would say about homosexuality and I told you based on my 20 years of studying the Buddhist scriptures and thinking about various issues in the light of the Buddha’s Dhamma. I don’t know what else I can say.” I told him that if he wanted to talk with me at any time he was welcome to do so and then we hung up.
Four days later I was browsing through the paper and a small article tucked away on the eighth page caught my eye. The heading read ‘Man’s Body Found in Park.’ I scanned the article briefly and was about to turn to something else when the name Julian sprung out at me. In an instant my attention was riveted. I read the part where this name appeared and sure enough it was about the Julian who had come to see me. I returned to the top of the article and read it all the way through. Four days earlier, perhaps only a few hours after ringing me, Julian had gone to a park in the centre of Singapore late at night, taken an overdose of sleeping tablets and been found dead the next morning. A suicide note had been found in his pocket but the article did mention what it said. I was overwhelmed by sorrow. The thought of him lying there utterly alone, hating himself and in such despair that he would kill himself almost made me cry. But soon anger was welling up through the sadness and diluting it until it had completely replaced the sadness. I pictured the Taiwanese monk blithely dispensing his ignorant and ultimately toxic opinion before rushing off to give a sermon about compassion or receive the accolade of the crowd. I became so angry that I resolved to write him a letter and tell him what he had been responsible for. Then I thought it would probably be a waste of time. He probably wouldn’t even remember talking to Julian.
It seems to me that most thoughtful people would agree that sex without love is a pretty unattractive thing. Physically, it is little more than ‘exchanging fluids’ as the AIDS awareness literature so delicately puts it. What lifts sex above the fluids exchange level is the motives and emotions behind it – affection, tenderness, the desire to give and receive, the bonds of companionship, fun even. This fits well into the Buddha’s famous statement, “I say that intention is kamma.” Is sticking a knife into someone a positive or a negative action? It depends! If the knife was held by an enraged violent person it would probably be negative. If it is held by a surgeon performing an operation to save someone’s life it would certainly be positive. From the Buddhist perspective, sexual behavior is not judged primarily by the gender of the people involved, by the dictates of a code of behavior drawn up in the Bronze Age or by whether a legal document has been signed, but by its psychological components. Homosexuals are as capable of wanting and of feeling love and affection towards their partners as heterosexuals are and where such states are present homosexual sex is as acceptable as heterosexual sex.
This is a simple and logical truth and it is in accordance with Buddhist teachings but circumstances were such that I was unable to help Julian see it. All his experience had told him that being attracted to people of the same gender is wrong. Those around him had always expressed disapproval towards homosexuality and sniggered at gays. The law (in Singapore) told him that homosexuality is so heinous that it must be punished by 10 years imprisonment, more than for manslaughter. He knew that religious teachers, Christian, Muslim and even some Buddhists, consider it so evil that it will have dreadful consequences in the life hereafter. All this denigration and ignorance prevented him from hearing the gentle, reasonable and kindly words of the Buddha. It caused him inestimable suffering and finally drove him to suicide.
I am reminded of Julian because three weeks ago I represented Buddhism in a seminar on religion and homosexuality at Catholic Junior Collage (Boy! Haven’t Catholic collages changed!). Of the 800 students in the audience I assumed that a certain number would probably be homosexual and may be struggling to understand their feelings. Knowing that what I said may well have something to do with them growing up either happy and well-adjusted or tortured and self-loathing, I did took great care to explain the Buddhist position on homosexuality.

S.H.M.

Dalai Lama对同性恋的论点....

http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/2008/08/homosexuality.html

S.H.M.

你是大学生,会看懂英文的..

我就不翻译了. (好借口>>>>)

不是个好男人

原帖由 沧浪澈 于 1-3-2009 04:28 PM 发表
过去前尘往事，因为太执著那种形态样貌、感受、想法、行为、意识而带到现在来纠缠着你。
未来的命运安排，就开始于你每一刻当下的言行思维。

谢谢劝告。

原帖由 炫银河 于 1-3-2009 04:29 PM 发表
同性恋不是罪，只是你得在这排斥同性恋的社会里挣扎求存。

或许是吧。其实我并不在乎别人的看法，别人的想法也无法左右我，可能是小时候磨练回来的吧。只是我真的无法接受自己，看到自己的身体总觉得自己是一个灵魂住进一个陌生的身体，长年累月无法接受自己的长相，所以在N年前就一直看帅哥，希望自己就是他，或许是这个原因，自己才慢慢的爱上看男人吧。以前从来不肯看镜子，现在还好了，谢谢关心。

原帖由 山野草夫 于 1-3-2009 04:50 PM 发表
针对第一个问题，楼主现在好像是面对性倾向方面的困扰，个人认为楼主应该寻求辅导员的协助会比较好。

有好介绍吗？我现在很珍惜我拥有的一切，就算两双脚站在土地上我已经很感恩了，至少我比那些无法走路的朋友更多了一份福气。我在两年前的确有过自杀的想法，不过只想不做，还好现在还在这世上。

原帖由 新網友 于 1-3-2009 04:55 PM 发表
同性戀是不是業障, 太深了, 不懂.   我只知道打噴嚏才是業障, 哈偢, 哈偢, 哈偢, 還不是被人罵? 都是跟人吵架才會被人罵啦, 所以打噴嚏才是業障.  
佛教的業障論, 三世因果論害死了華人, 有都少 ...

的确是，我真的太执著于三世论和业障论。谢谢关心。

原帖由 沧浪澈 于 1-3-2009 04:59 PM 发表
有办法的，命运不是不可以改变的。

谢谢你的法句经，我已经bookmark起来了。

不是个好男人

原帖由 乌班老毒物 于 1-3-2009 05:15 PM 发表
爱一个人不是罪，如果一个男人是异性恋的，没有正常的爱情，在外面搞三搞四，一脚踏几船，就是邪淫，那是佛教不鼓励的。
如果一个人天生就是同性恋，有自己所爱的人，那有罪吗？ 答案是没有。
佛陀在世时， ...

我并没有爱上任何男人，只是觉得想跟男生xx而已，并不想跟他们拍拖什么的，我好像非常curious和男生做的感觉是如何。就好像班上的帅哥看久了也不会有感觉了，甚至并没有男女拍拖朝思暮想的冲动，所以我好像站在bisexual的那一条线，比homosexual or heterosexual多一份烦恼。谢谢你的劝告，我会当自己是一个普通人。其实我并不是一位虔诚的佛教徒，只是我只想脱离变成同性恋的想法，还不至于要出家那么严重，不过短期出家还是可以的。不如我在这里发个愿：如果小弟有幸找到自己喜欢的女孩，在此希望各位见证我一定会参与短期出家活动。我是说到做到的人，就好像N年前小狗生病快要死了，我就向观音菩萨请求让小狗健康那么我从此就不吃牛肉。现在想起我真的很久没吃了，那时候我最喜欢牛肉了，如今小狗还健在而且今年即将踏入它的第十年，现在我已经忘了牛肉的味道，以后都不想吃了因为好像变成了一种习惯，有时候去mamak都会问这是牛肉吗等的问题，好害怕吃到了心爱的狗狗会再次生病，不过去McD就真的去到怕了因为只可以叫McChicken，吃到现在都不去了，就算去都只吃french fried,兜兜转转竟然变成帮自己增加功德。哈哈哈。。。

我曾经是一位还未洗礼的基督徒，算有研究过少许的圣经，不过就不曾当过回教徒，怕无法脱离而且也不会看阿拉伯文。哈哈哈

不是个好男人

原帖由 书剑 于 1-3-2009 05:22 PM 发表
佛教没有判同性恋死刑。
你对你这样的生活不开心？担忧？害怕被排侧？
其实最直接方法是寻求心理医生治疗，然后再以佛法为补助，增强意志。克制五蕴所引起的颠倒梦想。

谢谢关心，我会开始寻求心理治疗，希望借助佛法帮我脱离同性恋的苦海。我知道眼前将会是一条很艰难的路，不过无论如何我都会走下去，将来如果我真的有幸有孩子的话，我相信我一定可以handle的很好因为我曾经是过来人，不过我决不会阻止我孩子是同性恋，只是他有心改变我可以从中帮忙与劝告。在还未结束之前，我在这里猜测或许我是那种会因为同性XX过程中所带来的快感而变成同性恋，因为我根本都不曾想过和他们讲爱情，也不想和男生天长地老，我真的很好奇跟男生做的感觉,是我的性欲太广泛还是这是本性呢？我还曾经认为自己的身体住着两个人，一个是爱女人的而另一个是爱男人的，这种自欺欺人的想法，让我在镜子前告诉另一个自己如果另一个自己和男生发生性关系，那么另一个我就会亲手杀死自己，到时候来个一窝熟。我是不是很有问题，虽然知道自己有心理病，不过多年来又苦无人帮忙，所以才演变成今天的局面。不过幸好我还可以清醒过来认清自己，但是我怕事情会慢慢的演变成无法收拾，就好像电视剧都有得做了，什么傻事都敢做。我很害怕，也很无助，所以才开始在借靠佛陀当我的心灵解药。

现在我暂时不去再想，现在只想好好找一份工作，和找一间家搬出去住，毕竟我连自己都无法面对自己了又怎能面对家人呢。

沧浪澈

不要烦恼，要静下心来看清自己，其实你不是同性恋者，在生命真相里，在生死的轮回中，根本没有同性恋，有的是对过去的执著。

不是个好男人

很感谢你的这篇文章，我真的想通很多了，我并不像Julian那样只想寻求一个让他继续活下去的理由，也不像他是想借佛学来承认自己的想法。我对同性恋并没有很大的排斥，就算有，我也不是病得好像Julian那么重，所以我还是可以应付自己心理障碍，不过会早日寻求心理治疗。谢谢关心。

mahalwin

太阳星君和太阴星君金经。过后更念起了高王观世音真经
这些不是佛教的经典

的确是，我真的太执著于三世论和业障论。谢谢关心。
佛教徒有必要正确地认识"业" "轮回" .

有好介绍吗？
寻求协助时也确定自己为什么需要协助. 期望将所谓的"弯"弄"直"? 学习如何接受自己? 如何面对自己的感觉和情绪? 也必须注意有的宗教团体所提供的服务根据他们本身的信仰(例如反对同性爱情)